Who am I?

Dear friends,

   Summer has begun and it has been getting more and more crazier around here. The people have been great, but with more people everything that I talked about in my last blog post has come into play. This whole year has been a challenge in humility, but now more than ever I am being broken. I have to step back and let others lead, which is not easy for me, but it even goes much deeper than that. The fact is I am SUPER prideful. God has been showing me that more than ever before. Sometimes I just have to scream cause it hurts so bad to have to constantly be letting go of myself. I have had to rely on Him more than ever. But the crazy thing is that it's a good kind of pain. It's so necessary. I can never truly serve God until I can completely let go of me and my desires. I welcome this, no matter how hard it gets. I am nothing. Truly nothing. I know that, but I want to live it. In Isaiah 40 it says that before God we are as nothing, even less than nothing. I come before God so many times as if I have something to offer him; that's crazy. I have struggled because now I am realizing through having so many people here that I am not the best, not the funniest, not the most talented, not the most godly. I want to be. I want people to like me the most, to want to spend time with me, to think I'm great. But the more I want that and I seek that the harder it has become to serve God and give the glory to Him.

      Today we went for basketball practice (we are all really bad so we need practice to be able to play against schools) and I was just really discouraged. I had to walk home by myself cause I needed to get back to go to small group. I was crying out to God and then I met a girl who is in highschool and got to walk and talk to her for a bit, then I met a group of kids and got to hang out with them for awhile, then I got to talk to an older lady. God gave me three little reminders of why I am here. I am here for to serve these people. Not when other people are around watching, but love them from a pure heart with the love from God. Man sees the deeds but God sees the heart behind the deeds. I just want Him to be able to look at my heart and smile because everything I do is for Him and for His glory. I say all this because I think that this is something we all deal with constantly. Maybe in different ways, but we all struggle with pride everyday. Satan puts this lie into each of our minds that we are the best, and that hinders us from serving Christ and coming together as the body of Christ. We need to become real and authentic, we need to be able to admit that we are prideful and messed up. I feel dumb having to admit how prideful I am, because it looks ridiculous but it's necessary. We need to keep each other in step. We are all just beggars showing other beggars where there is bread. If we can really understand that we are nothing and choose to live it out every day then God is going to use us to great things: not for ourselves but for His glory! How beautiful!

     This past weekend we went out to the village to break ground for the training center that is going to be built there. It was such a wonderful day. I remember when I got here a year ago, all this was just a dream and plans on paper, but it is coming true and I feel so blessed to be here when all this is coming together. The plan is over the next 10 years a compound is going to be built consisting of a primary and a secondary school, a church, a trade school and dorms for kids and staff to live in. I am excited for how this is going to be used to bless so many lives and how it is going to bless the people in the community. The community came together for the ground breaking ceremony and we had a great party together. People are so excited for what is happening out there! Please pray that God will provide all the funds that are needed and that everything will go smoothly. Satan doesn't want this to happen so pray against his schemes!

     I only have two months left! I can't believe it! I will be seeing you all so soon! I am so excited. I am seriously missing people back home more than ever! I love you! I would appreciate continued prayers. Please pray that God would give me the grace to be broken and to become less and less this summer so that He can become more! God bless!!

     Craig